Brancalonia - Bay Of Princes

:sunny: Brancalonia in Menagerie World: a band of dubious rascals, engaged in questionable enterprises too dangerous for others; keeping your community safe in the crumbling remains of the elven empire.

:sunny: Themes of wilderness exploration, treasure hunting, heists, crimes.

:sunny: Aim to be VALUE compatible; Brancalonia rules are a mod to 5e. Perpetual T1 accessible to newbies but with persistent world for repeat players. Setting is a homebrew menagerie world to allow any character to join the table.

Episodic adventures contained in a session. Will have a central location in-game, a Den in Brancalonia rules so every session starts and ends there. Each session starts at the Den so whoever is present is just the gang available for todays job (allows open table drop-in/drop-out)

:sunny: This is the start of the sessions log on the forum

:sunny: DISCLAIMER Sitting to a Brancalonia table, your character is broke - “I’ll do this job for a plate of food” broke.

:sunny: Mechanics

  • E6 – level up from 1 to 6 as normal, then after level 6 whenever you would level-up you gain another feat instead.
  • Knaves Rest – short rest = 8 hours, long rest = 7 days
  • Online news board – there will be an online news board – perhaps on the discord or my blog of things happening which may be warnings, clues or adventure hooks.
  • The Den and Grandluxuries – effort may be spent to upgrade your base which gives you boons before a job
  • Bounties & Notoriety – the Royal Register tracks misdeeds and assigns you all a bounty, which comes with greater notoriety but bounty-hunters may come to collect
  • Non-lethal brawl rules – separate moves, use of props, ritualised combat from old etiquette of the elves. Draw a blade or cast a damaging spell and everything shifts to standard 5e combat
  • Shoddy & Counterfeit gear – currently you are equipped with the best you could get, and its not great

BrawlRules-compressed.pdf (541.7 KB)


:sunny: Setting: Menagerie World

Everything below is for curiosity, none is necessary to know before joining a game

Many thousand years back the elves conquered all this space, set about raising up animals to become more elves and then a thousand years ago they abandoned these overseas holdings and went home. All the animalings left behind are half-finished elf-creation efforts.

Our current realms have all fallen out of the old elven colonial empire except for Shamunz, the remnant of the dwarf-lords realm. In between those we have two ‘memory/culture forming’ periods - the colonial conquest of these Southern Reaches by the elves and the fight for power in those same realms by the elves abandoned vassals - the era of the Predator Queens.

Alerimysa - new kingdom forged from the chaos of the Predator Queens

Neavethiylian - stubborn elves, those who refused to join the great retreat, bastion of the old ways, an old elf state maintained by non-elves

Shamunz - dwarven lands – insular, last bastion of dwarven power, source of finest metalworking

We are set in more of less the high-tide mark an old colonial push by an offshore culture. The people living here now are a mix of the animal-lings were uplifted by the incoming elves and the previously existing dwarf, giant and draconic cultures were swept before the colonial drive and have left traces behind. These older cultures blended into the current most common culture. There are not so many original members of the culture around so these will likely be present as variations on the practices of the majority

:sunny: Inhabitants Menagerie World has a lot of species, kin groups and peoples about

  • Animal-folk of various sorts ~ 40%
  • Humans incl. tieflings, genasi, halflings, etc ~ 15%
  • Insect-folk of all sorts ~ 10%
  • Aquatics, Avians, Goblinoids, Saurials & constructs each ~ 5%
  • Remainder ~ giants, fey, plants & odder things
  • Elves and dwarves are relatively rare about this part of the world but feel free to use their PHB stats reskinned as an animal-folk if you wish – all animal-folk are paused elf-raising endeavours that became their own peoples when the elves departed ~ 1000 yrs ago

:sunny: Faiths around the Bay of Princes: much has been swept aside by the current majority - the old animist religion of the elves being replaced by the standard D&D pantheon. There are hold-overs from the old animists, I think potentially scary druids in goblinpunch style. And in the north west, we have the Kirianshalee cults living adherents who think the lich-priests running the Land of the Dead are doing it wrong.


A band of misfits traveling together charmed their way into longer-term lodging at the Golden Rooster, owned by Rufter. To settle some of their debts, make themselves at least a bit useful to the world at large, or perhaps to make a name for themselves, Rufter revived the Brotherhood of the Old Bucket and sent the five knaves on an adventure.

They were to find the village of Borgorato, which for many a year has failed to re-pay a tribute to the Brotherhood of Old Bucket, and settle it through any means they know. They left Rufter, and Rufter might have been left without one of his fine vintage reds during the departure. They travelled along a river to the Hangman Inn where they were told to get more info. Here, various denizens of the world productively chopped into the hours of the day, at least if you call drinking ale by the barrel-load productive. The knaves, making some friends in the process, got information about Borgoratto - for many years, the village was abandoned, infested with spider crows.

The band “procured” some mounts at the inn stables and set their sights on finding out if the village even existed as a billable entity. Travelling through the forest, they happened upon a thick, unnatural mist, nearly splitting up along the way. There, they encountered an undead creature and a running brain, both of which they took care off, but not without questions arising. Hiding from a rainstorm at a derelict chapel, the Tabaxi of the group made it a point to make the night a horror movie for the halfling. As if perpetuating horror stereotypes, or just perhaps wanting to be part of the fun, the long-dead denizens of the chapel’s graveyard decided to not be dead anymore and do the spooky undead attacking the party scene, a bit early for Halloween. With their mix of punching, slicing & holy powers, the party made solid work of their party crashers.

Hiding at the altar, the party unearthed a holy artifact, Saint Gonnello’s Knuckles. The legend goes that Saint Gonnello used to punch a lot of heathens and afterwards rest his heathen-worn knuckles in a bucket of water. Some of his saintness still seeps from the knuckle bones into water, giving it restorative powers, something the saintly party quickly connected the dots on.

Descending into the village below at the break of dawn, the party found no trace of spider crows, but quickly found the eery quiet of restless spirits that still populated the place. The whole village was in disrepair, haunted by the image of what it used to be. Finding out that the evil energy of the place was to quickly descend upon them, the knaves erratically searched the Manfreda household where they found out that it might actually be their brotherhood owing a debt to the deceased of this place. With their holy holyness of the holy people of the party, they set about a ritual of cleansing the evil through a burial ceremony, aimed at putting the restless spirits to rest.

Our knaves rightly deserved the succeeding little bit of coin still to be found in the village, as they took in the revived chirp of the birds and rustling of the trees that returned to Borgorato.


Dear Diary,

Mighty Rum may live again!

Now that my clandestine distillery puts me at risk of bounty hunters, I have tried to shackle up at the cockerel with some other petty criminals. Alleged. That’s important to them.

Anyway, the other day old Ruthger Punchrabbit got tired of me, Laxodon, Eel and Thak and sent us to collect the dragon Bigad’s treasure. Bigad, so the story goes, has not been seen in years and years. I agreed because I wanted to check on my distillery on the way there, and I had nothing better to do.

Anyway, the 4 of us set out from the Cockerel to find Vondela of Peara who had a treasure map. On the way we walked past the distillery but decided not to go in. It looked to be in great condition though!

We did meet a noble knight on his steed who seemed eager for adventure, and eventually we turned around and took him with us after initially assigning him to distillery guard duty.

We found Peara at the Hold Cain Inn, but before we got talking to him we were brutally attacked by and brawled with a weird guy called Turtlehead Tony and some of his friends. Naturally, my brawl-proven band of babboons (oh diary, I say this lovingly!) defeated them without much trouble.

Only problem was, it turns out vondela of Peara is a… Well… Money maker who sold the treasure map multiple times, each time assuring the buyer it was the only copy and hiding the fact he couldn’t read the book it came from and was merely tracing.

Seeing as we had nothing better to do and still hoped for treasure, we followed the map anyway.

We went up the big river, hiding our motives whenever we encountered travelers. I did gather some great rum making herbs and other secret ingredients.

After cozy nights by the fire, we got to a more lonely part of the journey. We should have known that something was off when we saw smoke rising uo, but decided to ignore what we saw and push ahead. We did meet a charming young lady after that, she lived by herself and had no recollection or at least no answer to how she got to be in thT situation. She said she had an axe but the others convinced me not to invite myself into her gome to see it.

A few hours later, we started to get a bit tired when suddenly, our brave knight pointed out… Dragon tracks!!!

There was a possibility that it was another large animal of course, but at this point we were prepared for anything. While we were arguing about what to do, turtlehead tony and his scoundrels showed up behind us! We did have time to hide and wanted to let them go ahead. If the dragon was alive, at least tony and his guys would be eaten. If the dragon was dead, we could follow behind and just deal with Turtlehead.

Somehow I got confused, though, maybe it was the lack of rum or something. So I took a stone and threw it at them from behind, and well, it landed in the lake. Did I mention there was a lake? And a cave.

Anyway, turtlehead was still mad because of the other night, because he attacked us. We were doing alright defending ourselves, but then I guess my stone kinda woke the dragon Bigad - I guess he was just sleeping, not dead.

What’s that saying, draco dormiens nuncam titillando or something? So now we were kind of busy fighting the dragon and I got badly injured and couldn’t really participate in the fighting much; but the rest of them seemed to do okay. Most of Turtlehead Tony’s guys died, but I guess he and the rest of my group of uhm, alleged, petty criminals joined forces, and defeated the dragon. We did have our knight’s noble steed to carry back some stuff, but a lot of it was useless.

Anyway, sadly the knight didn’t make it, but at least now I have money to oay back Ruthger and stay at the cockerel a little longer and I have funds and herbs RESTART THE DISTILLERY AND SELL MIGHY RUM when the action has blown over a bit. I do wonder if that will happen seeing as Lax is sure to write a newspaper article about the whole thing. Oh well.

Laxodon suggested I take classes in self preservation so as to not wake sleeping dragons. Maybe he has a point? Right now I’ve just been sober for too long so I’ll join the others in a night of drinking and brawling.

Oh diary, even at 270 years of age, this dwarf takes such comfort in knowing she has one friend who will never abandon her.

Sincerely, Mardred


To my undying Master!

Thank you for lending me your powers for the last couple of days. The uncouth tavern keeper Rafka pushed another seemingly safe money-making mission onto us.

“There is another DEAD bigat out there!” he said. “It’s DEFINITLY DEAD!” he said. “You just have to find it faster then the other hunters!” he said. In his delusional world it seems that all the dangerous monsters died of old age, and they all leave enormous riches behind.

With his “assurance” we started our travel to Roca Bernardo, a small village near where the bigats liar should be. I should have noticed that something was of, when one of us stayed back with some “stomachache”. This left just us, a merry group of four arguably capable swashbucklers.

There was Francis the journalist who gets into the thick of it for his stories, the two Lathander worshippers Bradly and Elathiel and me a black cat on his last couple of lives.

After a surprisingly smooth journey we arrived at Roco Bernardo in the evening to be greeted by the spriest oldest guards you can think of. Lazy as hell but be wary if you don’t pay the toll. One second, the guard was sleeping and the next there was a spear at Elathiels throat.

After solving the situation peacefully by bribing them with a good (at least not bad) bottle of wine we traveled through the streets to the center of the village where we heard a commotion. During the walk we planned how we should present ourselves to the people of the village and the other bigat hunters who had already arrived. We concluded to use Francis as the face of our group because he was part of a team which killed a bigat not long ago. I used the powers you gave me to make his clothes seem more valuable, more like something a successful bigat hunter would wear. So, I made it look like a fancy dragon scale armor with bigat teeth all over and it was decided that Elathiel would introduce Francis as the biggest, strongest, best of hearing, tallest, … and much more, bigat hunter galore of the region.

The nearer we got to the ruckus in the center of town we noticed that the villagers were actively avoiding us. No one made eye contact and they closed their doors and windows as soon as we were seen. This didn’t sit right with me, so I diverted our group to get to the bottom of this strange behavior. We bribed an owl family for some information and a bowl of the best mouse soup from all Brancalonia. I was blessed that they shared it with me. (I even think I got one of my lost lives back.)

They told us that the locals didn’t get along with the bigat hunters. Just the merchants liked them because the hunters were buying their overpriced wares. First they denied any knowledge about a bigat but then the grandfather vaguely remembered a story from his grandfather who told him that the former countess used to pay tribute to a bigat in the village. It was called the bigat wedding where someone was “married” (sounded more like sacrificed) to the bigat when it woke up after a long hibernating phase. This new information renewed our belief that the bigat was not as dead as advertised and reinforced our conviction to get help (meat shields) from the bigat hunters to secure a victory in the inevitable fight. And who would be better to lead such a troupe than Francis, an already successful bigat hunter.

At the marketplace we encountered four different groups of bigat hunters drinking and feasting outside the only standing tavern of the village. The other taverns were unusable because of fire damage. Elathiel tried to introduce and hype up Francis to the people there, but sadly he failed miserably. Luckily Francis saw in one of the groups the wizard Satar who he knew from the last bigat hunt. With all his charm and some glib words, he convinced Esterina, the leader of the group, to let us join the spike gang in their hunt for the bigat. To solidify us into the gang we helped them in the bar brawl which broke out later when more people got drunk.

Early the next morning the two Lathander worshippers tried to get some information from the street vendors by inquiring about maps and stuff. There we learned about the tide mountain range, which comes and goes with the moon phases. (WOW! There is always more to learn out there.) Once the whole gang was ready, we headed to the river. Because we found out that the bigat comes from there to get its tribute when it’s awake.

During our track upstream near the river, we met another friend of Francis from his last bigat hunt. The noble knight Rokaspra and his trusty horse who chose to search with us for the bigat. Sadly after a whole day of searching we didn’t find the lair of the bigat. So we decided to camp and get ready for the night.

Suddenly during the night, we heard a loud growling or howling which sounded like a bigat. To attract the bigat in our direction the wizard Satar imitated a bigat mating call. This worked perfectly and we soon heard a big creature making its way to us. Once it arrived, we ambushed it with our combined powers. To our astonishment we learned that bigats can burrow and move in the earth, which was especially surprising to three members of the spike gang who died when the bigat emerged right beside them. Fueled the fear of the bigat fleeing under the earth we hurried up to kill the bigat.

On the next morning after the fight, we tracked its traces back to the lair and found enough money to keep Rafka happy and off our backs for a couple of weeks.


A map with locations of recent adventures marked in.

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More deep background for the curious:

A Beastman Came Upon A Beast - d8 superstitions around who can be eaten

d8 reasons to fear the legacy of the predator queens

NPC mannerisms: d66 animal-folk attitudes

d14 small gods of the animal-lings

Rumors heard at the Golden Cockerel

  1. Peach Cider, the most appreciated drink of the Golden Sun tavern, has deteriorated significantly in the past months - people aren’t getting drunk anymore! Someone needs to go Tassonia and get them to sort it out.
  2. The new Duke de Savedra is setting up hunts past Cat Castle in the forest of Batta for dreaded wild horses.
  3. An old soldiers map points to a treasure buried near a farm, the current holder of the map willing to sell because of tales of a fearsomely scarred viperwolf has emerged from the mists around Penumbria and prowls the countryside.
  4. Preachers normally confined to their posts on the road to Penumbria have begun prowling further afield with accusations of blasphemy, complaining about peoples fun. They are especially incensed about the approaching Red Carnival with its revelry, parties and indecencies set to engulf the city of Amnasseanase
  5. Queens Guard have been spotted in the Ditch of Serpents, rumored to be chasing Ghino de Fosca’s band after a massacre

Dear diary!

What a great weekend! We saw Rothgar twice yesterday! It didn’t happen’ much since I arrived in this new village, saw a couple of guys (and gals of course!) who could have been adventurers seeking a thrill like me, but we never talked to each other before. Now it was the time, since Rothgar got a letter from an old comrade seeking help with a food problem (he wrote it differently)! They have too much of it, he might send some hungry adventurers to get rid of some boars in the forest (and we just did! Hear me out)! Getting ready to go, we saw Rothgar a second time, as he said we should instead take the boat (just as we finished packing the cart with our stuff and nice rum made by Barrún)! The boat ride went uneventful, if you don’t mind me feeding the fishes…(I used to swim, not to sail on some bloody boats) My new friends decided to suggest the goblins (the ship owners) to stay and we went with the old comrade of Rothgar up to the village of Ponteratto to have party! They loved our stories and didn’t mind Zell defeating their kids in a joust on Minastas’ shoulders (as a grim reaper :smiley: )! The next day we wanted to head out to the forest to take a look at the boar situation with the “head” hunter, but he vanished. We took the live wood puppet of the sorceress to guide us there - turned out to be a terrific idea, she couldn’t be poisoned (we tried to calm her down with rum)! After some nice walk (with bathing and landslide…it wasn’t a boring hike) we found a log cabin with tracks of 2 different humans, truffles in butter in crude jars and lots and lots of smoked and to be smoked pork (a.k.a. the food problem)! I decided to take things in my hands (and pockets, belly etc.) as the boars began to “howl”. The people in the village said that they would be howling like were-whatevers, eating people and acting strategically, until then I just didn’t believe it! We tried to lure them to the cabin, they didn’t want to have lunch - but we did! That’s where we needed to calm down the puppet (successfully). As it was clear that they are not coming to us, we decided that we should go to pay them a visit. We sneaked past some patrols, and found their cave (since when are they living in caves?), with a big poop-pool at the entrance. Our zoologists were convinced that this behaviour is highly unlikely of boars! We made one plan after the other (that was the last time we saw the puppet), even wanting to conceal our odours with boar-poop…but nah! We threw a bit of smoked pork in the cave, casted a silent fire illusion, hid on the trees, used nasal diversions of another kind, and to escape a patrol already looking for us, rushed into the cave (with Minastas’ lead). We found nasty surprises! Several boars bathing in clean water, nice made nest with flowers and hoarded snacks! Wall paintings of gods of some sort (which we couldn’t learn much about)! And finally, a kitchen where the butter-truffles were from (with cook!) and a “big city hall”, where the hunter from the village argued with two unfamiliar hillbillies and a boar on his hind legs! We immediately rushed into action (not wanting to get caught hiding), bought a jar of truffles as a conversation starter, and led ourselves to be introduced to the boar king. As we convinced him to let us arrange a trade between them and Ponteratto, the 3 humans arguing wildly against each other now began to accuse us with stuff, which didn’t really work because the 2 bums turned out to be the ones killing and smoking the boars! As the hunter from Ponteratto was allied with the 2 (and Zell made a hilarious deception move, convincing the boar king), he made a run for it too (and was bitten by Barrún as a poisonous spider). All 3 came to a stop in the hall, where Garett began a brawl and Aurora summoned a boar who snuggled them all to a stop. Things went rapidly after that, we showed the cabin to a delegation of boars and arranged a truce and trade with Ponteratto. We liberated the cabin of the heavy horrors, left just enough smoked meat in the cabin for evidence for the negotiations. Since the goblins with the boat were gone, Garett and my humble self needed to hastily botch a cart together to save the donkeys back home from a darker fate…


Louisa, Ulian, Don Peppone, Farder and Krusk rescued Sanguinino from the headsman for his brother the Duke de Savedra. After going to Amanasseanase during the Red Carnival, fleeing the Two Postilles without paying your bar tabs, stealing costumes, Grand Theft Cart, prison breaking and bull-and-guard running and laying the Spinsterite Sisters to rest they successfully escaped to Captain Edwiges ship with a grateful Sanguinino.

The Duke supplied the agreed months of wine, enough to maintain the basic distillery at the Golden Cockerel.

= = =

Later confused tales around the Golden Cockerel speak of Francis, Moritz, Finnea, Theo, Bellatrix and Dorm helping the dull-witted Belloveso reach Tarantsia and rescue his golden beloved Nina.

After arriving in Tarantsia, shaking down Ubalthus the ‘Wizard’ and meeting Mabila and Terenza, the relatively pleasant Befanas of Barefoot Lake, the crew braved the Cast Iron Dungeon with its hazards and fought a scrap iron golem before making off with Nina in her cursed golden-statue form and pockets full of wizardly reagents and paraphernalia.

There was some coin in selling off the ‘salvage’ from the wizards lair but there is still work to be done to free Nina from her golden prison - she is currently cluttering up the tap-room at the Golden Cockerel and Belloveso is moping about and ruining the atmosphere.

Further tales around the Golden Cockerel tell how Francis, Delumathan, Quinn, and Don Peppone helped the dull-witted Belloveso find the Divine Sow and free his golden beloved Nina.

After setting out to find the Star Mount our heroes returned to Roca Bernarda to find it besieged by the marauding Toad gang led by by Turtlehead, aggrieved by having arrived to late to share in the horde of the Bigat of the Botticione. After organising the villagers to defend themselves, setting traps and repairing the walls, our heroes repelled the Toad gang, slew Turtlehead and arrested or routed the Toad gang. From there a guide took them across the river, through the Ditch of Serpents to the Star Mount where they spotted the Divine Sow being pursued by Count Julius, he who had cursed and trapped Nina.

After ambushing Julius and rescuing the Sow, a wish was granted in gratitude and Belloveso used it to free Nina. On return to the Golden Cockerel, our heroes found Nina freed from her golden prison and saw the lovers reunited - and her previous golden form free for the melting down!

A share of this was invested to start a Black Market Grandluxury at the Golden Cockerel.

Delumathan, Don Peppone, Korry, Gutrock, and Inana returned after two weeks away looking very well fed and with tales of breaking the siege of the cyclops-dwarves of Mount Typhon.

After meeting with the Countess di Valpergia and being tasked with finding out where her weapons shipments are, our heroes set sail on the Miss Fit with Captain Edwige the bewhiskered, which came to a sad end at the tentacles of the mighty Trinacria and left them washed ashore along the coast.

After hiking back to Vernagallo, agreeing to take a keg of beer inland to ease the way with the cyclops dwarves, our heroes make their way to the town of Castigate with its great Monastery Brewery of the Friars of the Holy Right. Their over-generous hospitality raised suspicion and after a brawl in the courtyard the true story of summonings, magical guard hounds and broken tomb seals comes out.

Delving into the crevasses of Mount Typhon our heroes find the dread Megaloschemos mummy and after a pitched fight put and end to its threat. Heading onward to the forge-fortress of the cyclops dwarves they fight their way through the summoned hounds and clear the way, being welcomed with feastings and deciding to stay for a fortnight to make sure all is well.

When eventually out well-fed heroes make it back to the coast they find the Miss Fit Z waiting to bring them and the valuable fittings they ‘liberated’ from the tomb of the Megaloschemos home.

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Further tales about the tavern speak of Francis, Balthasar, Quinn, Dharaxas, Mischief, Medlar and Teodoreo venturing back to the Spinsterite Nunnery and attending a very grim feast.

After Rougher recalled that from the Red Carnival the Spinsterite Nunnery in Amaunasseas should be abandoned, its treasures free for the taking, our heroes set sail on the Miss Fit with Captain Edwige the bewhiskered, aiming to take on this easy task.

After a few questions around the waterfront, the tunnel to the Abbey was found and our heroes worked their way into the old catacombs. A little prying around found the site of the fighting retreat during the Red Carnival and a handful of scorched and finally-dead Spinsterites - salvaging their outfits four of the party joined the rest of the Spinsterites at their dining, presided over by the Abbess.

Significant subterfuge and confusion and the provision of the finest possible dish to be made from the toxic Mold of the Catacombs distracted the spinsterite sisters while the party looked around under the guise of running errands. The talking mask of Sister Marangola was recovered, books and silverware snatched and eventually the treasure cache beneath the chapel altar raided.

Finally after riling the Spinsterites up with illusory cries of heretics our heroes made their escape with the hungering undead hot on their heels and rejoined Edwige to sail home once more.

Tales around the tavern speak of Mischief, Sare, Guthrock, Eris and Dharax interfering in the Battle of the Be(ast)damns leading to champion Gabby the Turkeys unfortunate demise and Lil’ Johnny the Cavebears emergence into the limelight.

After meeting the merchant Lufo, our plucky band of knaves were engaged to go to Torre del Mago and make sure Gabby the Turkey (five time champion) was unable to compete in the upcoming Battle of the Be(ast)damns - not fatally, just a brief unplanned holiday. Setting out along the coast aboard the Mis Fit with Edwige the Bewhiskered and crew, our band played cards, brewed potent tea and generally increased the crews existing good opinion of them. In conversation over cards they heard that the Battle of the Be(ast)damns is the source of all the best new insults and that everyone on the crew except the captain had figured out Lufo was besotted with Edwige. They arrived off the coast and were rowed ashore with a promise to be along the following night at sundown.

Hiking over a rocky spur to Torre del Mago our band arrives their late, makes their way to the Smockingbird tavern and then proceeds to incite the most roistering, rolicking night of carousing the village has ever seen. Waking up on rooves and seeing the sun rise in beached shipping boats our exhausted band partakes of Dharaxus gingery hangover cure before hiking around to the old garrison where the Band of the Rump laired. Effecting entry under the cover of the ongoing carousing of the Band of the Rump, they easily make it to Gabbys residence on the tower top before a flaw in their exit plan brings the dome and tower top down into the main hall, Gabby and band with them - to fatal effect for Gabby.

The furious Band of the Rump insist that a replacement for their champion Be-damner, compounded by their capture of Lufo who had been trailing the band.

Agreeing to this, the band hikes back to Torre del Mago to get nets and directions to Lil Johnny the Talking Bears lair, setting off for it immediately. Near the ruins, deep in the swamp the band is ambushed by a Sleech that bites off all of Dharaxus with a first bite but is then driven off and slain by the rest of the band. Arriving into the ruins the party finds a very grumpy Lil Johnny who demands to be left alone but is pummelled into submission and hauled back to the Band of the Rump to trade for Lufo.

After a day slogging about the swamp the band misses their appointment with the Mis Fit and overnights once more in Torre del Mago, launching another grand carouse that leads to Eris waking up married to one of the local tabaxi. Bringing them along, the band returns home to the Golden Cockerel with coin enough to replenish the wine and food stocks for a little longer.

Word comes sometime later that a furious Lil Johnny’s brutal insults swept the Battle of the Be(ast)damns.

Word around the Golden Cockerel is that Iluviel, Terry Hatchett, Wee Redheaded Olive from Den, Ivan Gorcher and Dharax went hunting down the Regal Herb to cure the unfortunate Tristan da Pra.

Beseeched (and offered ample compensation) by Baciccia da Pra to find a cure for his petrifying son, our heroes scour the Old Town for the Minstrel Bafer, questioning stall owners and a bar full of the queens guard and local militia before eventually spotting a tail and chasing them down. Pietrasso, helper to Bafer, was convinced of their good intent and led them to the minstrel where they heard the ballad The Stone Beauty and deduced where to search for the Regal Herb and that they needed Holy Oil of Petruccio.

After procuring the only bottle of Holy Oil in town from the Tavern of the Two Grumbles owner at a high price, our heroes set off into the wilderness for the Holy Mountain at the centre of the Batta Forest. They rescued Volpone the Old Fox from the clutches of a band of bandit tabaxi before ascending the mountain to find and harvest the Regal Herb. The bandit tabaxi tracked them down and a brawl ensued on the top of the mountain before our heroes were victorious and settled in to distill down the Regal Herb and Holy Oil combination.

Returning to Pallazo da Pra they dosed Tristan and restored his stony flesh to fleshy flesh.

A grateful Baciccia compensated people amply - enough for at least a few weeks of decent wine and meat for the stew.

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Finally we got into an adventure, and what an adventure it was!

After being stuck at the Golden Cockerel for weeks, we finally got hired by the owner of the Golden Sun to look into his peach cider producer because he was only delivering crappy stuff recently. Theodore was of course very eager to help with that…

However, apparently we went a bit over the top and woke up with a blank mind in an unknown (but VERY fancy) bathroom. We were all not feeling too well, but Theodore taught me that you just have to keep drinking - and oh it helped (I learned a lot from him, never knew he was such a wise man before - must be his age…). While we all seemed to have gone a bit crazy the night before, you won’t believe who went over the top, got married and had a step-child called Sedrego (who by the way is a talking puppet): our cleric, Balthazar! He was able to declare his marriage invalid though and payed off his ex-wife to take care of Sedrego.

We made friends with this really cute dog (Aurora said it is a Bavelisk) called Nasher, served (because the tavern owner, Secerino, was missing) and ate some breakfast in the tavern and heard some interesting rumors about a vandalized (ups) and haunted statue. Balthazar was able to release Pelentine, the owner of the peach cider distillery, from the statue. We then were able to locate the carriage of Nasher’s owner, Mikeletto. Someone did a very bad job at driving it the night before… Nelum was very clever and forged some papers to get the cart released from the guards. As a gesture of good faith, we decided to return Nasher to Mikeletto, so Tivadar summoned a bunch of rats (gross, but Nasher seemed to like them - apparently he was still hungry after breakfast in the tavern), and we were able to get Nasher in the cart and return them to Mikeletto, who released Secerino in return.

We got some homebrewed concoction and suddenly remembered the last night - apparently a hag overtook the distillery and we were able to defeat it - which resulted in a night of celebration and too much alcohol. But we might have forgotten to light the fire and actually burn the hag - so we had to go back and do exactly that. Wasn’t all that nice, wouldn’t recommend burning someone - it took ages and was not very nice to watch. So of course we needed to celebrate again afterwards, only Balthazar wanted to go to sleep - can’t understand why, especially because here we actually get good booze and not watered stuff like Rougher serves us… Ah, I am so looking forward to the next adventure


Dear Diary

We got a lead for a job interview. Had 4 other adventuring groups competing for the job. But of course we, The Necessary Problem Solvers, in the end secured the contract :wink: We were tasked to retrieve a magical urn. Not quite sure what it does but apparently pretty old.

In Brancalonia the civilization currently is animal ppl trying to be elves. Before that, there were elven overlords trying to turn other beings into elves, hence the current population trying to be elves, a remnant of their rulers from the old days. And the urn we were meant to recover predated the rule of the elves. It was also connected to insectoids.

Long story short we had to sail to a city then take a carriage to a town. There ask around, gather information. We even talked to an insectoid. These ppl seem to be hibernating somewhere below. So whenever they go to sleep, they do so for a very long time and when they wake up, society usually will have changed completely and be unrecognizable compared to what they knew before they went into hibernation.

We got a lead bout a lady in the woods collecting ceramics and somebody had stolen an object from her which fit the description of our insectoid urn. When we arrived at her hut, we felt a lot of strange energy all around us, including some weird creatures. A giant-kin reacting pretty much befuddled when I greeted him in giant. An animal which really was a construct wrapped in fur to look like an animal. And when we sat down in her hut we noticed some strange magic in both the tea she was serving to us as well as pretty much all the ceramics in there. A magical trap, enchantments, etc. This was the lair of a hag. As she was waiting for us to fall be asleep from the tea (which we didn’t drink) I looked at her, talking in Sylvan, ‘what are you waiting for?’. And in that moment she transformed and showed us her true self. But we didn’t roll for initiative. In fact we managed to befriend the hag. She told us about a giant who had stolen one of her ceramics and it did indeed fit the description of what we were looking for. She didn’t really want the urn back cause since many ppl seem to want it, she was scared that she wouldn’t be left alone if ppl still thought she had the urn. Instead she asked us to deliver her the head of the giant so she could mount it on her wall for a cozy new flair for her living room.

As we were about to leave I came up with the idea of a new business the Brancalonia Matchmaker. And my first deed should be to bring some love into the life of our lovely new friend the hag. So I wrapped one arm around our Mr Handsome Plague Doctor and told the hag what a real keeper he is and that she should consider putting a ring on it. Well what can I say, she was intrigued.

So after that we made our way towards the presumed location of the giant, we initially tried to bargain with him since our primary objective was still to get the urn from him but he was too committed to turning us into stew for his supper. A fight ensued and as we had whittled him down quite a bit, one of our bards, fittingly from the College of Anthropology, put him to sleep and after that we ‘took care of him’.

With the urn in our possession and a lovely new piece of decoration we made our way back to our dear hag. She was very pleased and asked us what we would like in return. Since I finally wanted to get good with the quarterstaff I asked her for a magical one. She rummaged a lil and then returned with staff made out of, what seemed to be, pinewood. At the tip it had a wooden hand or rather fist. As she handed it to me she said, “her name is Julia, I’m sure she’ll love to get outside more often”. We were pretty certain, whatever this thing was now, it probably used to be a person, or maybe still was. But I didn’t mind too much, the staff seemed beautiful and very well made. As our plague doctor got his chance to ask something of the hag, we all encouraged him to be brave, but he wasn’t quite at that point yet. Still they seem to have some common interests and they might be going on a date next week :wink:

After everyone had received some trinket or some other compensation for our efforts we also asked her for an urn which might look exactly like the one we retrieved, cause we were gonna double cross our contractor. Deliver a fake version of the urn and keep the real one for ourselves. After an uneventful journey back we did deliver the fake urn and so we got everything we wanted. A magical urn, gold and trinkets from a hag :hugs:

PS Yes there was also another lady we met during our adventure, but she made us all very uncomfortable. So in an attempt to heal from this traumatic experience, I left out these parts D:

  • Signed, Oaklig