(tl:dr in the end)
Welcome to E.V.I.L
My name is Pitus and you are here because you are one of the best. You are one of the most immoral, the deadliest, the best backstabbers in your community and we are here to help you achieve even more. Only a select few even get the chance to apply for our company!
Actually, like everyone did
Yes! As Dr.Zarsion sai- Wait what?
We sent this out to everyone
What do you mean we sent this out to EVERYONE. HOW even?
We just used about 30 sheep, two tons of oil, one fireball, 2435 -
Actually nevermind… spare me the details. Regardless! You are here to carry out only the most important of missions be it thievery, misery or murder to bring.
Now what else do we offer? Well let me tell you.
- A stable income**
- Membership in the strongest and most evil corporation in Waterdeep
- Dental Care
- Resurrection Care**
- A personal pet monster
- Exciting Jobs
**Resurreciton care and a stable income may or may not be completely made up or may sound better than they actually are. E.V.I.L guarantees no truthfulness in any of these statements.
Wait, what do you mean a pet monster? This was never on the list!
It is one of the most important parts on the list!
sigh Anyways as I was saying. We are the branch executives of this company.
Me-Pitus and Dr. Zarsion
I am here to take you on exciting and challenging missions and Zarsion is…
We are robbing a bank soon. We need about five hundred slippers and a lot of ketchup!
He is doing whatever… Anyways just fill out this form and join E.V.I.L today and maybe one day you will get to boss things around like we do. We have the ressources and the interns for that. Trust me!
Me and Resil have created E.V.I.L a corporation that will be running oneshots on fridays to further their selfish interests. Pitus and Dr.Zarsion are two sides of a coin. Pitus being always serious and Dr.Zarsion being the polar opposite. These two want your skills and they will give you tasks and award you greatly. One thing to remember is that even though E.V.I.L tries to be very serious, they are more a cartoon kind of EVIL