On the way, might be a few mins late
People of V.A.L.U.E., players and DMs…there are Goblins on the loose within our esteemed hobby. Terrifying, I know.
Player tags: @Tea007 @Nepu @Disc @Eel_pulp @Meister_I @Lux_Tenebraeque
Rewards, plunder, takeaway:
- 20 downtime days
- 100 gold pieces (buy yourselves some climbing gear)
a single pick from the following permanent magic items: (go anywhere, do anything, nothing can prevent you, you are inevitable)
or you can also go for a pick from these consumables:
The Goblins in question have been their very best and were a complete menace to society, thereby saving the country and indebting its people to the green-skinned philantropists. None can stand against the Goblins, let alone try to change the course of history without their say-so.
a few highlights:
- lethal fistfight with pidgeons leading to a goblin death.
- 140 wasps caused a captain of the guard to bloat - he was immediately used as locomotion for the party. That and rolling in seemingly unbreakable barrels to ride on seem to be preferred methods of transit.
- avoided the goose mafia, but won against a rich man with his 18 hyenas in an accident-laden involuntary fight for breakfast.
- axed a troll’s work contract by detonating the fortress of his employers. No kitchen personnel or pest control detail were spared. also, the sugar reserves were raided for personal gain and pidgeon soup as well as the head of a swordfish were put to excellent use!
- dealt with foreign political threats by evacuating VIPs (selling them to the Fey for profit) and rebalancing political sway within the country.
- got beat up at home, but beat up angry adventurers who were wronged by the Goblin tribe, so it’s all worth it in the end anway.
- used bees to bypass a dwarf encampment, first-tried the Wizard puzzle by literally issueing a lucky guess (solving the puzzle instantly without ever engaging with it, of course), commandeered the Mage Tower to snipe down Zeppelins and end an invasion attempt.
- strategically dove into a giant cake to avoid dying when being launched out of said Mage Tower which was, also strategically, crashed into the nearby mountain range with an explosion for dramatic effect.
- literally went Goblin Mode to defeat the Raid Boss of Shadow Legends in the Goblin HQ, just to fight the power AND WIN. noone, not even boss fight encounters are tolerated on Goblin turf. now, git!
- respawned dead Goblins by casting Birthday from aforementioned giant cake.
- went to bed after making the final boss die from cringe.
- gained amnesia, because the past is of no concern to Goblins.
Are we proud of the gobbos? Yes. Yes, we are.
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